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K&C recap 9/23/16: Patriots Friday with Sean Salisbury

09.23.16 at 10:36 am ET
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On a glorious day to be a Patriots fan, Sean Salisbury took a seat on the casting couch to talk about the Patriots’ 27-0 blow out win over the Texans.

Salisbury, a former quarterback, had a career QB rating of 72.9, which, coincidentally, was Brissett’s QB rating last night. Despite the fact the Patriots played with their backup backup quarterback, Salisbury thinks the Texans were intimidated going into the game.

Salisbury was a great guest host. He was wide awake for all four hours, he was informed, involved and was willing to talk about anything. He even got the full hosting experience when Albert from Rhode Island told him to shut up.

Salisbury, who does radio in Houston, has had an interesting media career. He was on BattleBots, taught the great Adam Sandler quarterback mechanics for The Longest Yard and was the center of a “pecker pic” controversy when he was at ESPN. But he said his situation was not as bad as Anthony Weiner’s because Salisbury’s pictures stayed on his phone. But also Schlong Salisbury did not show the pictures to any underage women and his children weren’t in them. So yes, not as bad. Creepy as hell, but not as bad.

Unfortunately, he did not roll out his fire hose for Kirk and Gerry.

Anyway, Bart Hubbuch is back.

In his own way, the King of the Trolls congratulated the Patriots on their win:

Michael Lombardi made his weekly appearance at 8:30 to discuss Thursday’s game and said Bill Belichick was “not even remotely close” to testing Garoppolo’s toughness by pressuring him to play through his injury. He also said the best place to see a Springsteen show is in Milan. Finally, here is the most Belichickian middle finger to the league outfit possibly ever:

Happy Birthday, Bruce Springsteen.

Line of the day: Salisbury, on his penis: “Maybe I should cast it and they can sell it in sex stores.”

Caller of the day: Troy Moody, is kind of a big deal because his nickname was Troy Flutie when he was a quarterback in high school and still talks about it 40 years later.

Producer contribution of the day: Ken does a great job with the trending.

Read More: Bart Hubbuch, Bill Belichick, Patriots, Sean Salisbury

Zach Galifinakis and Hillary Clinton make video gold

09.22.16 at 11:49 am ET
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As president of the Jon Hamm fan club, it would take a lot for me to think any episode of “Between Two Ferns” is better than his. Or, come to think of it, Natalie Portman’s, Michael Cera’s and a bunch of others.

Basically, these things on Funny or Die are Zach Galifinakis at his absolute finest, and this week’s episode with Hillary Clinton is the best video short he’s ever done. Regardless of your political affiliation, this should do more for you than any SNL skit.

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: Hillary Clinton from Funny Or Die

Extra kudos to Galifinakis for working in a misdirection “I like my coffee” joke, which was also done brilliantly by Chris Rock in “Down to Earth.”

K&C recap 9/22/16: Pete Sheppard shines again; Bart Hubbuch apology for the ages

09.22.16 at 10:36 am ET
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Pete Sheppard was back for round two as the guest host on Thursday and proved himself worthy of being a permanent host. He can run a Sporty McKenzian show with the energy of a ticking time bomb. He’s even friends with Lou Sorgi and Sorgi’s a great guy. And Pete is not afraid to say diddly poo.  I never thought I’d say this, but he made me not miss Tanguay. 

The big question of the day was who will back up Jacoby Brissett at quarterback tonight? Sheppard thinks it should be Edelman, Gerry thinks that’s insane and Kirk thinks it would be arrogant of Bill Belichick to do that.   

Are Brady’s days numbered? The guys discussed John Tomase’s column in which he suggests Brady’s age will catch up with him and Garoppolo will take over as the starting quarterback sooner rather than later.

Read the rest of this entry »

Read More: Bart Hubbuch, Patriots, Pete Sheppard,

K&C show recap 9/21/16: Baseball, Bart Hubbuch’s Twitter are dead; Jimmy Garoppolo, David Ortiz are alive

09.21.16 at 11:25 am ET
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“The only person who wins more than Bill Belichick is Kirk Minihane” –Gerry Callahan

The show today began with Kirk’s victory lap for single-handedly destroying Bart Hubbuch and causing Bart to delete his Twitter account and disconnect his cell phone. The show closed with a Hubbuch eulogy fit for the Queen of England.

After Hubbuch tweeted this yesterday:

hubbuch

Twitter attacked him, he deleted his account and became the latest addition to Kirk’s Testicle Alley.

Just imagine the sheer terror that guy must have felt when he heard, “This is Kirk Minihane.”

If you haven’t listened to Kirk’s podcast with Hubbuch, do that and you’ll understand better what a complete dumpster fire of a human being Bart is.

Mike Giardi was on the Dino Casting Couch and the guys discussed Garoppolo’s chances of playing in the near future.

All three guys agree we should pump the brakes on thinking the Patriots will rush him back.

And Giardi was a little pissy because he feels threatened by all the other guest hosts who are way better at this than he is.

Fueled by the producers, Kirk danced for Gerry and threw a solid tantrum about how no one cares about the Red Sox and “baseball is dead as disco” because it’s a Patriots world. This started a discussion about whether or not Ortiz is on steroids. And if John Henry lures Ortiz back and he doesn’t retire next year he does not have to return his retirement tour gifts.

Curt Schilling made his weekly appearance and doesn’t think Ortiz will return next season because the pain in his feet is a huge problem and the winter gets more challenging as you get older. (For a complete recap of the Schilling interview, click here.)

Schilling will be Periscoping the Trump-Clinton presidential debate on Monday, so watch that if you dare.

Gerry Callahan has never eaten a mango.

Line of the day: Kirk: “Roberto Clemente, did he have a good year before he retired?”

Call of the day: Mike in the car, began his call with “What?”

Producer contribution of the day: Ken Laird, “A mango is sweet. Papayas not so much.”

Read More: Bart Hubbuch, Curt Schilling, David Ortiz, Jimmy Garoppolo

Dancing, taking a break and Ryan Lochte: Highlighting the best parts of Chance the Rapper’s Ellen performance

09.15.16 at 4:11 pm ET
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Not the Game reader Chance the Rapper went on Ellen Wednesday to do wonderful things, most notably performing “No Problem” with Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz. Considering his past television performances (“Sunday Candy” on SNL, the debut of “Blessings” on Fallon), the bar was set incredibly high, yet the performance still managed to exceed expectations.

Here are the five best things from the performance:

5. Chance won’t stop until overalls are back

Chance the Rapper wears a lot of overalls. He’s worn them in performances and he wore them at the VMAs when he freaked out over Beyonce touching him. This performance saw him go with overalls and a henley.

chanceoveralls

4. Stix

Donnie Trumpet and The Social Experiment are a major reason as to why Chance the Rapper is what he is. Like Kendrick Lamar, Chance supplements his live tracks with authentic instrumentation, and in this case the drums stole the show by delivering tasty fills without overdoing it.

3. The label guy taking a break

The premise of the performance was that Chance and his dancers were storming a major label’s meeting and making a mess of it. The roles were pretty simple: The dancers danced and made a mess while the label execs scurried to try to clean it up. Lots and lots of scurrying, except when dude in the back took a break while a guy did a dance move on him that I’m definitely going to steal.

TAKEABREAK

2. Chance backing off for Lil Wayne’s Ryan Lochte bar

It’s moments like these that explain why a hysterical Kendrick Lamar would scream for Tunechi to never retire. Chance the Rapper is at the top of the hip-hop mountain right now, and he knew to shut up when Lil Wayne stiff-armed his attempt to sing along to the original lyrics. That’s Chance respecting his elders and Lil Wayne knowing he had something special. They payoff was worth it for both. Look at that elation.

lochte

1. The Future Kingz

The aforementioned dancing was provided by Chicago-based dance group The Future Kingz. They turned in the most distracting performance ever, in a good way.

 

Read More: 2 Chainz, Chance the Rapper, Ellen, Lil Wayne
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