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K&C show recap 9/21/16: Baseball, Bart Hubbuch’s Twitter are dead; Jimmy Garoppolo, David Ortiz are alive

09.21.16 at 11:25 am ET
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“The only person who wins more than Bill Belichick is Kirk Minihane” –Gerry Callahan

The show today began with Kirk’s victory lap for single-handedly destroying Bart Hubbuch and causing Bart to delete his Twitter account and disconnect his cell phone. The show closed with a Hubbuch eulogy fit for the Queen of England.

After Hubbuch tweeted this yesterday:

hubbuch

Twitter attacked him, he deleted his account and became the latest addition to Kirk’s Testicle Alley.

Just imagine the sheer terror that guy must have felt when he heard, “This is Kirk Minihane.”

If you haven’t listened to Kirk’s podcast with Hubbuch, do that and you’ll understand better what a complete dumpster fire of a human being Bart is.

Mike Giardi was on the Dino Casting Couch and the guys discussed Garoppolo’s chances of playing in the near future.

All three guys agree we should pump the brakes on thinking the Patriots will rush him back.

And Giardi was a little pissy because he feels threatened by all the other guest hosts who are way better at this than he is.

Fueled by the producers, Kirk danced for Gerry and threw a solid tantrum about how no one cares about the Red Sox and “baseball is dead as disco” because it’s a Patriots world. This started a discussion about whether or not Ortiz is on steroids. And if John Henry lures Ortiz back and he doesn’t retire next year he does not have to return his retirement tour gifts.

Curt Schilling made his weekly appearance and doesn’t think Ortiz will return next season because the pain in his feet is a huge problem and the winter gets more challenging as you get older. (For a complete recap of the Schilling interview, click here.)

Schilling will be Periscoping the Trump-Clinton presidential debate on Monday, so watch that if you dare.

Gerry Callahan has never eaten a mango.

Line of the day: Kirk: “Roberto Clemente, did he have a good year before he retired?”

Call of the day: Mike in the car, began his call with “What?”

Producer contribution of the day: Ken Laird, “A mango is sweet. Papayas not so much.”

Read More: Bart Hubbuch, Curt Schilling, David Ortiz, Jimmy Garoppolo

Dancing, taking a break and Ryan Lochte: Highlighting the best parts of Chance the Rapper’s Ellen performance

09.15.16 at 4:11 pm ET
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Not the Game reader Chance the Rapper went on Ellen Wednesday to do wonderful things, most notably performing “No Problem” with Lil Wayne and 2 Chainz. Considering his past television performances (“Sunday Candy” on SNL, the debut of “Blessings” on Fallon), the bar was set incredibly high, yet the performance still managed to exceed expectations.

Here are the five best things from the performance:

5. Chance won’t stop until overalls are back

Chance the Rapper wears a lot of overalls. He’s worn them in performances and he wore them at the VMAs when he freaked out over Beyonce touching him. This performance saw him go with overalls and a henley.

chanceoveralls

4. Stix

Donnie Trumpet and The Social Experiment are a major reason as to why Chance the Rapper is what he is. Like Kendrick Lamar, Chance supplements his live tracks with authentic instrumentation, and in this case the drums stole the show by delivering tasty fills without overdoing it.

3. The label guy taking a break

The premise of the performance was that Chance and his dancers were storming a major label’s meeting and making a mess of it. The roles were pretty simple: The dancers danced and made a mess while the label execs scurried to try to clean it up. Lots and lots of scurrying, except when dude in the back took a break while a guy did a dance move on him that I’m definitely going to steal.

TAKEABREAK

2. Chance backing off for Lil Wayne’s Ryan Lochte bar

It’s moments like these that explain why a hysterical Kendrick Lamar would scream for Tunechi to never retire. Chance the Rapper is at the top of the hip-hop mountain right now, and he knew to shut up when Lil Wayne stiff-armed his attempt to sing along to the original lyrics. That’s Chance respecting his elders and Lil Wayne knowing he had something special. They payoff was worth it for both. Look at that elation.

lochte

1. The Future Kingz

The aforementioned dancing was provided by Chicago-based dance group The Future Kingz. They turned in the most distracting performance ever, in a good way.

 

Read More: 2 Chainz, Chance the Rapper, Ellen, Lil Wayne

The Fall TV menu: Dolce e digestivo and some leftovers

09.10.16 at 1:40 pm ET
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Continuing this week’s series of posts, I’ve assembled the Fall TV season like a beautiful full Italian meal. Each course consists of the standouts – aesthetically, culturally, thematically, and experientially – from different categories of television.

Some will grab the pop culture convo by the lapels and some won’t, but that’s fine. Not every part of the meal needs send your taste buds into freefall. Some TV shows you tell your friends about and some just clear the way for the next course. I spent 95% of my free time thinking about this stuff. It’s a dream job for me, so let me take this off your plate. Consider me your TV sommelier.*

*Yes I know a sommelier pairs wine with food. Yes, I know this is set up with food metaphors. The reason being the names of courses are much more digestible for this type of piece and TV sommelier sounds way better than TV nutritionist.

Dolce / Digestivo – The Adaptations

Next follows the dolce, or dessert and digestivo. Frequent dishes include tiramisu, cake, gelato or a sorbetto can be eaten too. The digestivo is the drink to conclude the meal. Drinks such as coffee, espresso, grappa, amaro, or limoncello. Digestivo indicates that the drinks served at this time are meant to ease digestion of a long meal.

The Exorcist

I don’t know why, but people seem to absolutely love religious terror. It’s a sub-genre all its own in film and has kept the found-footage style of movies printing money at movie houses for the past decade. Fox’s new series, “The Exorcist,” isn’t a direct adaptation of the scariest movie of all time or the book on which the film is based, so this is more of a spiritual spin-off if you’ll excuse the pun. In the new series, two strong-willed priests are called upon to rid a college-age girl of the demon possessing her. It’s all right there in the title. All the pithy jokes in the world won’t prevent it from being scary as hell. Or as scary as hell as basic cable can get.

Lethal Weapon

Honestly surprised this show hasn’t happened sooner. The buddy cop action comedy genre has produced some of the most memorable movies ever, so it is not much of a stretch to move some of that magic over to the small screen. Unlike “The Exorcist,” “Lethal Weapon” is much closer to a direct adaptation as the main characters will be Riggs and Murtaugh, although as of press time we’re unable to confirm if Murtaugh is too old for this s—.

MacGyver

My largest exposure and the source of my knowledge about “MacGyver” is that Patty and Selma on the “Simpsons” we’re all about this guy. This show is also the inspiration for my favorite early 00’s running bit on “SNL,” MacGruber. According to Wikipedia, The series follows Angus “Mac” MacGyver, who creates a clandestine organization within the U.S. government where he uses his extraordinary talent for unconventional problem solving and vast scientific knowledge to save lives. This description leaves out the most important part, and the stickiest part of MacGyver’s pop culture relevance; he uses common household items to build live saving doohickies. That’s like the whole thing, isn’t it? I’m not sure how this will work now that we’re used to seeing pre-built gadgets on TV be part of a character’s arsenal. Even if his sidekick on the show is a collection of super cool and ridiculously good looking nerds, the magic (or at least the magic I have pieced together) is in the characters ingenuity.

The Doggie Bag

Everything was so delicious, but I just couldn’t finish it all. Here are the leftovers from each course.

Transparent

This probably should be higher in my rotation of shows to watch. It’s the gem of the Amazon Prime original slate and Jeffrey Tambor is adding another iconic character to his arsenal. Season three premieres on Sept. 23rd.

You’re the Worst

The one that got away. When FX decided to spin all of their comedies off onto FXX, “You’re The Worst” was the one I meant to champion immediately. I missed the first episode way back when and never jumped in. Since then, it has become one of the most talked about, highly regarded 30 minute TV shows currently airing. It’s the darling of all pop culture carnivores I respect and emulate. Still haven’t watched an episode of it, though. Season 3 just started… should we race to catch up?

Easy

Netflix is jumping into the anthology game with this Chicago-set collection of single episode stories about love, sex, tech, and culture. It’s set in Chicago, only eight episodes, and only 30 minutes each. This is like a word cloud of successful 2016 TV buzzwords. Not to mention the cast is bananas: Orlando Bloom, Malin Akerman, Aya Cash, Emily Ratajkowski, and Jake Johnson all contribute to what will wind up being the quiet hit of the season for Netflix.

Better Things

Louie CK’s frequent collaborating partner Pamela Adlon gets her own show and well deserved. FX continues to nail it with giving the right people and voices a chance to shout into the void of basic cable. “Better Things” started this week, so don’t make the mistake I did with “You’re The Worst. Jump in.

Divorce

Lloyd from “Wings” goes toe-to-toe with Carrie from “Sex and The City.” You had me at Lloyd from Wings.

One Mississippi

“One Mississippi” is Tig Notaro finally getting some shine. This will probably be largely missed for several reasons, but you should go out of your way to watch it. Tig Notaro is a comedian’s comedian and her show is going to be more than worth the time you put into watching it. This is going to be heartbreaking, painful, excruciating, heartfelt, emotion rollercoaster-y, and hilarious.

Good Girls Revolt

Amazon’s period drama looks like it’s picking up where “Mad Men” left off. I couldn’t find all that much about “Good Girls Revolt,” but it does star Grace Gummer — daughter of Meryl Streep, currently CRUSHING it on season 2 of “Mr. Robot” — as a young Nora Ephron. According to Wikipedia: “The series follows a group of young female researchers at “News of the Week” in the revolutionary times of 1969.”

While US-based period dramas can be hit or miss (“The Playboy Club” and “Pan-Am” flopped big time), the cast consists of actresses who are so far beyond the point of deserving star-making roles, I’m rooting for this one to be the “House of Cards” or “Orange is the New Black” for Amazon Prime.

Van Helsing

It’s not “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

Training Day

Not sure why this is called “Training Day” as I’m pretty sure it takes place over multiple days. Possibly years. This looks more like the less gritty, more hungover version of “The Shield”/ a less superhero-y version of “Gotham.”

More TV than we know what to do with. Grab a fork and let’s get to work.

Guess how many members of N.W.A attended Jerry Heller’s funeral

09.07.16 at 3:53 pm ET
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Zero.

N.W.A. was M.I.A when their former manger, Jerry Heller, was laid to rest on Wednesday.

If you’ve seen Straight Outta Compton a dozen times like I have, you certainly know who Heller was. The great Paul Giamatti portrayed Heller as the former rap group’s greedy slime ball manager who loved Eazy-E and cheated the whole group out of their hard-earned money. Heller always insisted the portrayal was unfair and his lawyer even said the stress from this partly caused Heller’s death. 

Was Heller as bad to the group as Compton says? I think that question was answered today.

Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, and MC Ren were nowhere to be found and Easy-E died in 1995, so he also was not there. Cube’s reaction to Heller’s death is very similar to the reactions from boy band members after Lou Pearlman died last month. 

Not much love for deceased music managers this year. Also not a great year for disgraced music managers.

Read More: Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, Jerry Heller, N.W.A.

Fall 2016 TV Menu: Secondo Piatto E Contorno

09.07.16 at 2:02 pm ET
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Continuing from Tuesday’s post, I’ve assembled the Fall TV season like a beautiful full Italian meal. Each course consists of the standouts – aesthetically, culturally, thematically, and experientially – from different categories of television.

Some will grab the pop culture convo by the lapels and some won’t, but that’s fine. Not every part of the meal needs send your taste buds into freefall. Some TV shows you tell your friends about and some just clear the way for the next course. I spent 95% of my free time thinking about this stuff. It’s a dream job for me, so let me take this off your plate. Consider me your TV sommelier.*

*Yes I know a sommelier pairs wine with food. Yes, I know this is set up with food metaphors. The reason being the names of courses are much more digestible for this type of piece and TV sommelier sounds way better than TV nutritionist.

For the first two pages of the menu, click HERE.

Secondo Piatto – What to Look for on Premium Cable

This course may include different meats and types of fish. The primo or the secondo may be considered more important depending on the locality and the situation.

High Maintenance

I am not exactly sure what HBO is doing, but I am 100% in on all of it. Every TV show they release from culture captors like “Game of Thrones” too easy to absorb comedies like “Ballers”, HBO projects elicit the same response from their audience — “of course.” Every project they create take something that appeals to a passionate niche and blows it up big enough for the culture at large to not only notice but jump in at the beginning so they too feel like they got in on the ground floor; it’s the Marvel Cinematic Universe model for $10.00 a month.

From George R.R. Martin to The Rock to Bill Simmons to Lena Dunham, HBO invests in the cult of personality — passion projects of people with passionate voices who have inspired passionate followings. “High Maintenance” is no different. This show, a premium cable continuation of the Vimeo web series, follows The Guy — a nameless weed delivery man — through New York City. Every episode will focus on a new set of characters with buying weed from The Guy being the only connective tissue. A comedy about a guy delivering weed via bike. “Of course,” screams the audience.

Quarry

This looks terrifying. Grit on grit on grit on grit. I’m getting notes of “True Detective” mixed with “Ray Donovan” peppered with hints of Elmore Leonard novels and a splash of “Banshee.” As is customary with Cinemax’s original content, this will run on Fridays, so consider “Quarry” a great way to spike your heart rate before you head out to the bars.

This won’t be a prestige type of show or even one that gets a ton of recap buzz. This is a down and dirty drama that threatens to reach through the screen and karate chop you in the throat as opposed to other Cinemax originals like “The Knick” which reached through the screen to engage your gag reflex or “Outcast” which just tried to reach through the screen.

Westworld

Get ready to earn your TV Recapper badge on this one. “Game of Thrones” isn’t coming back until Summer ‘17, “The Night Of” was a one-time thing, and “Vinyl” got cancelled after one season, so if you’re looking for a show to deep dive into, “Westworld” is your ticket. This fits all the criteria for a prestige TV show worthy of endless dissection: based on an existing property, extraordinary cast, sweeping landscapes, and a trailer that grips you by the throat each time you see it.

This fits all the criteria for a prestige TV show worthy of endless dissection: based on an existing property, extraordinary cast, sweeping landscapes, and a trailer that grips you each time you see it. As has become the tradition at HBO, “Westworld” trailers are being attached to all of their buzzworthy shows which means HBO is pushing its chips into the middle of the table with this one. They are right to do so; their last Western, “Deadwood,” is widely considered on of the best shows to debut since the turn of the century. The trailer for “Westworld” gives you the bare minimum of what to expect, and given what is jam packed into that frantic two minutes, that is saying something.

Contorno – The Must Binge Streaming Content of the Season

A contorno is a side dish and it’s commonly served alongside a secondo. These usually consist of vegetables, raw or cooked, hot or cold. They are usually served in a separate dish, not on the same plate as the meat.

Fleabag

This is a one-nighter, meaning this is a show you watch one of and wind up crushing the entire series one night. Like its countryman “Catastrophe,” “Fleabag” is a UK import brought to the US by Amazon Prime. Also like “Catastrophe,” I’ll be watching it and telling anyone who will listen to watch it. Which reminds me – have you watched “Catastrophe?” It’s up there with “Master of None” inasmuch as you need to watch it immediately.

The Crown

I know what you’re thinking: “Downton Abbey”-ish, or for my tried and true PBS heads, “Wolf Hall”-ish. But I’m going to go out on a limb and say that comparing “The Crown” to “Downton” would be like comparing “Blazing Saddles” to “A Million Ways To Die In The West” just because they are Western comedies.

“The Crown” snuck in and took the belt off of Baz Luhurmann’s “The Get Down” to claim the title of Most Expensive Netflix Show coming in at $165MM. That’s blockbuster movie budget territory, but there is a very long strategy at play with this prestige drama about the most prestigious topic imaginable. Spanning 60 episodes over six seasons, “The Crown” will trace the life of Queen Elizabeth II from her wedding in 1947 to the present day.

While Netflix does not release its ratings or share any type of success metrics for its original content, I think we can all agree they don’t just release stuff just to release it. They wouldn’t commit the production budget of a Star Wars movie if they weren’t very sure it was going to garner some buzz, awards, and hype.

Also- it just looks good. If the show is anything at all like this trailer — patient, precise, committed, and dripping with gravitas — “The Crown” has a very good chance of being the standard bearer for what Netflix shows will look like when expertise surpasses experimentation as the hallmark of the network.

Luke Cage

The unstoppable, disruptable Marvel machine rages on. After proving what Marvel can do in the streaming format with both “Daredevil” and “Jessica Jones,” “Luke Cage” is the next man up. The Marvel TV formula isn’t quite perfect yet, but after three seasons on the streaming giant (two of “Daredevil” and one of “Jessica Jones”), they are getting closer with each attempt. “Luke Cage,” the third series leading up to the “Defenders” mini-series, will follow the title character as he attempts to put his life back together through rebuilding his community, Harlem.

Oh and he has unbreakable skin and fights crime. The additional previews prominently feature a soundtrack including Nas and ODB. This has the makings for a long weekend of telling yourself, “OK, one more episode.” Easily the best premise and collection of trailers for any Marvel show to date.

I hope you left some room for coffee and dessert, as our final installments — Dolce & Digestivo aka the movie-to-TV adaptations, and The Doggie Bag aka the leftovers — drop tomorrow.

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As you've probably picked up from following sportswriters on Twitter, we have interests other than just sports. So consider this a more eloquent extension of our Twitter accounts, which are rife with takes relating to music, movies, television and lord knows what else.

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